As you go about your business cutting through each day with force and precision it is only a matter of time before a backstabbing jackass or two is going to come along and inject some poison into your life. We all know who they are: backstabbing SOB’s, Grade A a**holes or just plain fools.
We will call them the enemy.
On several fronts I’ve had the occasion to run into a few in my day. Everyone who is out there getting things done has probably had the same experience. Even as you handle yourself with courtesy and consideration, it seems to make no difference.
But then, that’s what makes the enemy what he is right? The man will react or strike out in a completely unreasonable fashion, totally out of the acceptable norms of expected behavior and seem to revel in his own perverted chaos.
If you’ve had this same experience, don’t worry you are not alone. They are everywhere.
As I’ve found out, if you are a man out there taking action it is a necessary life skill to be able to deflect or crush this type of person and move on as quickly as possible. There is too much that needs to be accomplished in life to waste any more time and energy than is necessary dealing with this type of character.
Over the years, I’ve run into some music as I’ve sprinted and lifted – The Enemy by Godsmack – which has provided me with the inspiration and mental framework to take care of these foolish SOB-a**holes as they pop up.
Give it a listen, enjoy the raw energy from these men and then read and learn below.
Rule #1: Accept Their Existence
“I see it oh so clearly, I’ve come face to face with the enemy”
It’s just a fact of life. Just like plastic bananas and rubber chickens, these people do indeed seem to exist for some reason. And on the same level as these inanimate objects, you will need to recognize them for what they are: unimportant and low level distractions in the scheme of things.
They are cheap, replaceable and of no real value by their own hand.
Make a note in advance to point this out to yourself when they pop up next time as you are going about your business.
In the moment, their poison may indeed be serious and be capable of very negative consequences. But the first step is to isolate and accept the problem for what it is – you’ve run into the enemy.
Rule #2: Stand Tall
This rule added by Max Panzer.
Once the enemy has made himself known take the high road and stand tall.
Carry yourself with class and professionalism. If the issue is a face to face confrontation, maintain a strong physical posture and direct eye contact. You’d be surprised at how effective this is in most cases. You’re immediately sending the message this will not be a push over encounter.
Hold back and ignore the attempted jabs. Perhaps this will allow for him to recognize his bad behavior. Your cordial and controlled response could provide an opening for recalibration on his part.
Sometimes, class and composure will win the day. Simply not responding in kind, but with a strong and reasoned tone can turn your adversary back in line with appropriate behavior. Give him the opening to do so.
If he comes right back at you, be nice again. Be nice, until it’s time to not be nice.
Rule #3: Consider Them Beneath You
“You’re living in a world that will soon be dying”
So you’ve put your index finger to your temple and noted to yourself this is one of those occasions. You gave the man a chance to bring himself back from the abyss and yet he continues to persist.
You’ve got your Life Mission and Life Vision seared into your daily existence by now. The throttle is down and the chase is on. The High Country is yours to conquer and you will never stop pursuing your very best.
This is living as it should be. The enemy here is going nowhere of substance. Despite any outward success, if a man won’t respond to a class act and correct himself, it is only a matter of time before he comes crashing down. The man is living in a world that is dying and he is indeed beneath you.
Make it a point to recognize this fact. It will help keep you on an even keel with more control and precision to your thinking.
Rule #4: Ignore Them, it’s Just Envy
“Everybody knows you try to be like me”
Not every moron is worth responding to. Let him lash about. Just move on and continue with your quest. Do not provide the satisfaction of a response. Who cares if he thinks he got the better of you.
Who knows what lowly base emotion is causing his poor behavior. Many times it is just as simple as envy or foolish pride. Is someone who envies you really worth the effort to deal with when you could be spending your very limiting 24 hours a day elsewhere?
The man is classless, beneath you and obviously has some emotional issues to deal with. Do not let someone like that occupy any space in your life if you can avoid it.
Brush him aside with amused mastery as you continue to pare away.
Rule #5: They Don’t Measure Up
“But even at your best as a man you couldn’t equal half of me”
Put the man in his place. If only in your own mind, realize that non repentant offensive behavior makes the offender a poor excuse for a man. Everyone can have a bad day, but to continue on in an unrelenting pattern is what makes an a-hole an a-hole.
In many respects you are dealing with a mentally unbalanced person here. Instead of spending his time pursuing beneficial endeavors, he runs around putting his fingers in another man’s soup.
This is someone you may have to deal with to put a stop to things, but realize he is weak in spirit and doesn’t measure up. How can he? Rare is the man such as yourself who is focused and driven day in and day out, pursuing excellence and quality in every respect. You will not stop and you will not quit.
Most reasonable men will not equal half the man you are, never mind the pathetic fool who is going out of his way to wreak havoc in other people’s lives.
The man is deficient and he doesn’t measure up. Be sure to let him know those very words if necessary.
Cut him down to size and shut him up.
Rule #6: Rise Above Them
“You’re just another shit talking punk to me”
I don’t care what the man’s position in life is. Whether he’s your boss, your landlord or a social rival, if he gets out of line and won’t relent that makes him a punk. Feel free to let him know this fact if it won’t get you fired.
If he’s your boss, go minimalist, save a year’s expenses and then call him a punk. A man has to be smart about these things after all.
Calling the enemy a punk really lets him know what you think of him. If you are a man of character and worth he will know it. And being called a punk by such a man will have the desired effect.
By definition a punk is beneath you. He is not really worthy of your time or consideration. Separate yourself mentally, rise above him and leave him behind.
Rule #7: Use Them as Motivation
“You’re a living inspiration for what I never want to be”
Use the enemy as leverage to continue improving yourself. Hell man, even doing the right thing for the wrong reason is a good thing. Success is always the best revenge.
Keep the enemy in the back of your mind as an example of how not to live your life. Whenever you find yourself slipping back into a bad habit or shallow behavior, pull that example out of your back pocket as a reminder.
As much as it takes to make it to the High Country as your Ultimate Self, it doesn’t take much to knock a man off stride. One bad decision or loss of composure can set you way back in your pursuits. Be consistent.
Consider the enemy a stinking reminder of what you might end up as if you don’t get back in line with your Life Mission.
Use your experience with him as motivation to keep the pedal down hard and never stop working to become your very best.
Rule #8: Use Them to Learn How People Fall
“I see you’ve been blinded by what you believe”
As you’re banging your head against the wall someday dealing with the enemy, make sure to take note how messed up thinking can bring a man down. Despite being a thorn in your side at the moment and whatever sick satisfaction he gets from running around causing trouble, realize this type of person will eventually be the author of his own demise.
Your goal of course is to use your wits and determination to get away without a scratch and let him fall on his own. But even if the enemy is able to do some damage, each morning you’ll be back on track working towards the High Country while he looks in the mirror and sees an a-hole, day after day after day.
Just make sure you don’t ever fall into the same trap the enemy has fallen into. Use the confrontation as a learning experience. Think about how you handled yourself and what you could have done better. Also give some thought to what type of twisted thinking might have led the enemy to his current pathetic state of mind.
The only thing worse than running into a S.O.B. is becoming one yourself. Keep your Life Mission in the forefront each day and use the enemy as a foil for what you never want to become.
Rule #9: Unload on Them When Necessary
“Now back up and sit down, shut up and act as you need to be”
As you’ll recall, the only rule here not derived from the lyrics of The Enemy was rule 2 which I added to the mix. My default position is always to take the high road. In other words, stand tall but give your adversary the opportunity to smarten up. I would rather spend my energy on positive pursuits. If I can give the man a way out and allow him to save face I will.
Sometimes an even better strategy is just to walk way or ignore the man. Why add fuel the fire right? Hell, not giving him the satisfaction of a reaction might be the smartest play there is. You coolly let him know he is not even worth the consideration. After all there can be no real satisfaction in defeating an inferior opponent for a man Becoming a Force of Nature.
But then sometimes a backstabbing S.O.B. just won’t leave it alone, will he? By definition, sometimes the jackass will just have to keep jabbing away.
If you’ve exhausted the high road to no avail, perhaps it is time to bring out the hammer. In other words, be nice until it’s time to not be nice.
Give the enemy a taste of the fire. Let him know you are willing to make him miserable if you have to. Make sure there is a price for him to pay if he is to continue. Pairing this side of you with your previous controlled and high class reply, might provide the contrast necessary to sow the seeds of doubt.
Cut him down to size by pointing out his shallow thinking, small mind and lowly status. Crush his fine opinion of himself. He may put up a strong front in the moment, but you might be surprised to be rid of him from then on.
The next time you see the man, revert back to rule 2. My guess is he will use the opportunity this time to take the door you’ve offered him.
Rule #10: Pity the Other Half
“I am realizing that everybody’s lost their simple ways”
This is probably the one of the most appropriate truisms in the world today.
It seems like half the world is wrong about everything; wrong even about the simple things. Life would be so much easier on this planet if people just minded their own business and took care of their own.
Keep it simple, do what’s right, earn what you receive and treat others with courtesy and consideration.
The sad part is that most people are the author of their own downfall in this life. At some point all a man can do is pity those that don’t seem to get it. If the enemy is going to run around wreaking havoc with other people, all you can do is handle it when necessary, move on and leave them in your wake.
In the end each man has to take responsibility for himself and his circumstances. And if the best the enemy can do is behave like an a**hole, let them swim in their own muck while you move on and live life as it should be.
Pity the enemy, brush them aside and cut through each day as if your life depended on it.
All the best,