For me at least, one of the constant thorns in my side has been the anxiety from worrying about having a particular aspect of my life fall apart or completely unravel. And my guess is that in the dark of night I’m not the only one.
It is a difficult world we live in and it can take tremendous effort over many years to accomplish a man’s pursuits; gut busting effort. Sometimes years of blood, sweat and trials can be on the line. Any man with ambition knows what I’m talking about. It can get to the point where you simply cannot envision yourself in any other reality.
Your efforts have hard coded your mind in sense—there is no other way.
There are no guarantees in life, however, and as a man develops some momentum he becomes acutely aware of his vulnerabilities. It is these vulnerabilities, both internal and external, which can creep into his psyche and severely affect quality of life and decision making.
Personally I’ve experienced worry and poor morale over the fear of failure, but fortunately it has never seriously manifested itself beyond that—perhaps a little too much beer, but nothing overly serious. Quality of life and peace of mind are another matter, however. I’ve spent years worrying about this and that. I have indeed spent too much of my life afraid in a sense. What a waste of time in retrospect.
Over the years, experience has provided me with several examples of men who I’ve had acquaintance with that were unwilling to accept a loss of appearance and status. And they eventually went down in flames as a result; men who have gone to jail and even taken their own lives because of their unwillingness to accept failure or a loss of pride.
No one wants to fail and disappoint his woman, children, friends or peers, but no man is an island. And as I’m sure all of you know even the best of us will have to endure disappointment in life; both personal and professional.
Of course there are always those who will take delight in seeing someone they have dealt with fail miserably. I’ve always wondered about why so many people seem to take such joy in the misery of others. But should a man of character really care about what this type of person thinks? I believe those that do, overestimate the importance of their image in other people’s minds.
Beyond the opinion of other people, there is also the fear of having to start over again if things fall apart; such as with your woman, business, career or finances. A failure in one area could lead to a complete collapse in all other areas. This would be the ultimate nightmare for many of us.
With all the effort and emotion it can take over the years to reach a certain point in life, sometimes there is just no way a man can see himself outside of his current reality. Combine this with a loss of face to those he cares about (and those who are rivals) and the resulting manifestations can be disastrous as I mentioned above.
So what is the answer then to avoid all of this anxiety and needless mental duress?
How can a man pursue his goals with a vengeance and enjoy peace of mind along the way?
As simple as it sounds the answer is to be willing to start over; embrace your ultimate fear.
I’m not saying that you should ever roll over without fighting like hell for what you want. What I am suggesting is that you preset your mind to the possibility of completely starting over if something doesn’t work out for you after giving it everything you have. After all, there are no guarantees in life right?
Remember, none of us are Superman and sometimes there are circumstances beyond our control. Some of those circumstances can be events that end up crushing our dreams and some of them can be people. Even those closest to us can be the cause of our upheaval.
As an aside, if you are ever betrayed or extremely disappointed by a loved one or close friend, rest assured you weren’t the first and certainly won’t be the last. Even if you believe you did everything right, sometimes it won’t matter. Accept the fact that human nature is what it is. It is not a reflection on you. Shit happens, even to people that don’t deserve it. It’s just the way it is.
But back to starting over. Consider a worst case scenario. Your business fails or you lose your job, you end up bankrupt and your woman leaves you and takes the children. You are broke and on your own.
Is that it for you? Is your life over?
Not a chance. No way in hell. No woman and no amount of money are ever worth your life.
The true measure of a man is how he would function if he lost it all; how he would be with himself if he had to start all over and walk his path alone.
There is no question losing it all would be extremely difficult and painful. I’m not saying it would be easy just because you’ve considered it ahead of time as a worst case scenario.
But deep down, if you are a man of good character and you know it, then it is never over for you. Not ever. Not until the Creator comes calling for you on your last day.
For the vast majority of you out there the worst case scenario will not occur in your life. But many difficulties and disappointments will—life does tend to get more serious over time as a man ages.
So my advice then is to inoculate yourself ahead of time by always being willing to start over. It is your character and your soul that define who you are. Realize this and always be willing to brush your current situation aside as a measure of your ultimate happiness.
Take confidence and true happiness in who you are before anything else in life, even your loved ones. For if you don’t and you lose your loved ones for a time, then both you and they have nothing left in you.
But if you work to become the very best you can be every day and in the dark of the night you can be proud of your soul and of your character, you will always be able to start over.
And if you know in your heart you could start over and survive, then you will begin to approach the line for true peace of mind. You will always have yourself to fall back on.
This is one of the keys gentlemen; one of the keys to simplify your life, to become more resilient and more outcome independent.
Simplicity, resilience and independence, these are the characteristics of a man who lives life on his own terms. This is a man who will distinguish himself in the long run. And a man who is Becoming a Force of Nature.
Always be willing to start over.
All the best,