It’s just the nature of the beast gentlemen, as soon as you accept that fact the better off you will be. Hypergamy will always remain a driving force in how your woman perceives you. My advice is to get out in front of her and use this knowledge to your advantage. Turn your woman from the nit picking, never satisfied and critical shrew that she has become, back to the same woman she was when you were courting.
Life is glorious when things are as they should between you and your woman. Both of you will be happier. Millennia of evolutionary programming will make it so. Even today’s modern independent woman will become putty in your hands and she won’t even know why. All that will matter to her is that you are an exciting and powerful man who is now the tip of the spear for his household.
Make it point to continuously develop yourself because it is simply the best way to live. Put yourself first in line ahead of your woman. Do not do this explicitly, just keep it quiet and press on each day. As the weeks and months pass she will begin to take note. You will begin to see that her glances will last longer than you are used to. Sometimes you will even catch her staring at you. All of a sudden your opinion on matters will become solicited and valuable. And yes, the fire will also return to her and burn hot. You will become the prize and she will be on her toes and much the better for it.
But don’t expect what could be years of hypergamic reflex to disappear in a few weeks or even a few months. In fact, as she begins to sense the changes in you expect things to get worse before they get better. Her nature will require that she shit test you as a measure of your legitimacy. Smile to yourself when this happens. It will be an indicator that things are on their way and you are moving toward better days.
Don’t expect a straight line of improvement either. There will come a day when you’ve got a couple of months of nirvana behind you and you will think to yourself you’ve finally turned things around. And then some issue will come up and she will have a major meltdown. All of your progress and momentum will seemingly evaporate and you will be back to square one. Be prepared for this. The female nature is inherently volatile.
When she does go nuclear someday, just take your index finger and tap yourself on the temple. This is to be expected. But since your priority is now becoming the very best you can be, you’ll simply keep on keeping on. You will leave her and her silly meltdowns in your wake. And yes, they are silly. In the heat of the moment they may seem like more than they really are, but you will simply brush them aside.
Life is a pure challenge for you now and you do not have the time for behavior that is beneath you. Let your actions communicate this fact and she will eventually learn. And if she does not then there is always the front door and many, many more women out there that would be happy to take her place.
Game Her Every Day
Make it a part of your life and game your woman every day. Condition her to the fact that you are a Force of Nature and will never stop coming. Day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year keep the throttle down. Overwhelm her with your life force. No matter what the circumstances maintain frame and communicate your expectations.
Take the lead, become dominant and remain consistent. The only time she should see you with your guard down so to speak is when you are asleep in bed. After all you are only human and every man needs his rest. But besides that you will remain indefatigable and indomitable in spirit. Maintain a certain defiance toward life and its difficulties. Simply outlast your woman and she will love you for it.
Become relentlessly affectionate with her. Let her know in no uncertain terms that you desire her, but can walk away unaffected regardless. Set the tone that this is the natural state for a male-female pairing. Otherwise you might as well just be casual acquaintances. If you are living together and sleep in the same bed, there will be an abundance of physical affection. Don’t ever be ashamed of your nature as a man. It is she who should be ashamed if she looks down on you for this. Send her that message without speaking it.
Keep her on her toes with humor and good natured teasing. Doing so will place you in a dominant posture and feed her hypergamic needs. This will create a natural tension between the two of you where you take the initiative in your relationship and she begins to expect it. Condition her to this new reality.
Constantly be taking the initiative within your household and she will begin to rely on you. And once again she will love you for it. It all begins with something as simple as school yard style teasing and good humor. Sometimes in life the answer lies in the simple things. Be relentless here and watch how the dynamic in your relationship changes for the better.
Become decisive. From what to have for dinner to major decisions, take a firm stance from now on. Even if you don’t really have an opinion, make a decision. Train her to the fact that you will have an answer, even if you have to choke down that meatloaf you really can’t stand. And when it comes down to something of major importance take your time if you have to, but then decide and take action. If you need time to think things over, just tell her you’ll get back to her after you think about it. Get her to depend on you for your decisiveness and she will look up to you for it and this will elevate your posture to a new level.
And finally, embrace outcome independence like your life depended on it. Don’t ever give her the satisfaction of affecting your morale. You should be so busy with your own agenda that you don’t have the time or the energy to waste on an unappreciative and immature woman. Make this an implicit aspect to your relationship. Actions matter here, not words.
Keep moving no matter what her reactions to you and she will eventually figure it out. The beauty is that your outcome independent nature will ultimately have her chasing after you. As she sees your stature and character develop with no end in sight, her competition and replacement anxiety will begin to turn her. She won’t be able to help herself. Her innate hypergamic hard coded attraction programming will take over and by stepping away through outcome independence you will become magnetic and powerful.
So add an element of entertainment to your life by gaming your woman each day. After all, there has to be some fun and flare in a man’s life. Enjoy yourself and she will as well.
Handle Shit Tests With Ease
The explicit manifestation of hypergamy in a relationship (apart from her dumping you for another man) is the shit test. For the uninitiated, this is when your woman challenges you in one way or another. It can be a verbal jab, a put down, a contrarian attitude, a denial, a lack of respect, a bad attitude, constant criticism, picking a fight or any other manner of unpleasant behavior toward you. Sound familiar?
If you’ve become soft and weak over the course of your time together, expect these shit tests to keep coming at you fast and furious. And to be honest, as well they should. It is your responsibility to stay on top of yourself, your life and your relationship. Take it as a sign that you are not doing your job, to put it bluntly. Don’t resent her for it. Instead resolve to take control over your life and your relationship and turn things around.
Remember though, just because you’ve made a decision to pursue your very best does not mean your woman will just roll over and quit with the shit testing. In fact, as she begins to sense your transformation things might even get worse. She’s going to want to know whether you’re for real or not. And in most cases, her behavior in challenging you will be subconscious in nature. Remember, hypergamy is an evolutionary adaptive behavior. It’s in a woman’s nature to challenge a man’s fitness for her affections and loyalty.
As simple as it sounds, the first step in handling shit tests is recognizing them for what they are. This can be difficult because many of these attacks can be very personal in nature and sting deeply. Your goal should be to immediately say to yourself in your mind “this is nothing but a standard shit test and I recognize it as such.” Picture yourself virtually taking your index finger and bringing it up to your temple. In fact you might even want to actually do it once or twice in the heat of the moment and enjoy the quizzical look on her face. The humor here will put you in the right frame of mind.
The right frame of mind should be a calm, Stoic, objective detachment. Begin to train your woman to the fact that you are now a different man. You are cool and collected and will not be emotionally affected by her outbursts; they are beneath you. As you remain in control she may come after you relentlessly. As tempting as it may be to return equivalent fire do not do so. Condition her to the fact that you will remain unaffected. Think about it from her perspective, she now sees you improving yourself each day regardless of her actions and you remain unaffected by her attacks. A certain confusion will begin to stoke her imagination and change her thinking about you. And a little competition anxiety might even begin to creep into her consciousness.
In my opinion the best response to a shit test is a minimalist one in nature. If it is appropriate just ignore her and continue on with your agenda of personal greatness. Improving yourself relentlessly each day is a key ingredient here, otherwise she may misinterpret your lack of reaction as simply giving up. Imagine the healthy confusion this will create in her mind as you simply brush her shit tests aside as if they were nothing and continue to make yourself better each day.
Beyond no response at all, a few deliberate words will suffice. Say what needs to be said and then move on. Physically leave her presence if you can. Remove the opportunity for escalation and send her the message you will have no part of it. You are now above these petty situations. You are a man on a Life Mission and will not be deterred; especially by a woman who does not appreciate you for who you are and who you are becoming.
Once in a while though you will need to put her in her place. If she crosses the line, you will need to explicitly tell her that her behavior or words were unacceptable and will not be tolerated. No need to threaten or get angry. Simply take a strong physical posture, look at her directly in the eyes and make your statement. Make sure to include the words “unacceptable” and “not be tolerated.” And then, if possible, leave her presence. If you can, leave the house. Spend a few hours out improving yourself as a matter of principle and let her wonder where you were. Repeat as necessary.
Consider these fitness tests as a mild annoyance and a challenge. Once again, turn them to your favor by inherently understanding your woman’s nature and you will reap the benefits.
Become the Tip of the Spear
No man is an island and thus no man and his household is immune from troubles. As the saying goes, shit happens. Even to the best of us. Accept this fact as part of the natural order. Be aware, however, that your woman will be consciously and unconsciously evaluating your response at all times to all things, especially when difficulties arise. Her evolutionary programming has hard coded her to do so. The survival and success of her and her offspring is paramount. And if you can’t get the job done, her natural inclination will be to find someone else who can.
This is hypergamy in action. The past doesn’t matter. All that matters is the now and you had better be up to the job.
It doesn’t matter how ugly, how unfair or how chaotic the situation, if she doesn’t see you as the tip of the spear you are in for another dose of cruel reality. Don’t expect any sympathy as you feel sorry for yourself when things begin to fall apart. She will not be there for you in the long term if you don’t get it together. Your feelings are irrelevant. All that matters is that something is wrong and that it needs to be fixed.
Don’t make the mistake in assigning your view of honor and loyalty to your woman; especially a western woman. Whereas you would give your life and endure incredible hardship solely as a matter of principle for your woman and children, do not expect the same from her regarding you. While she may take it to the wall for her children, at some point she will disengage from you if you cannot get the job done. Don’t resent her for this; just accept it as part of the natural order. Sometimes life stinks and you will indeed get kicked when you are down—even by your woman.
Well then, since you are here at BFN reading and internalizing the material to Become a Force of Nature, you will simply accept this reality and become the tip of the spear for your own benefit. In this author’s opinion we are here on this earth to face challenges. The Creator has placed us in a broken world with a lot of moving parts where suffering and difficulty is a part of life. It’s just the way it is.
Make the decision to live each day with a fierceness of purpose. Part of this fierceness should be to handle things when they go wrong. Do it because it is one of the core characteristics that make a man good at being a man. It’s always easy to walk tall when life is going your way. The real test though, comes when your life begins to fall apart. Remember this. When the shit hits the fan and things get ugly, explicitly tell yourself this is when it really matters how you handle yourself. It won’t be much of a consolation, but at least you will maintain a least a spark of resistance and remain pointed in the right direction.
Keeping your woman’s hypergamic nature in mind when trouble heads your way will simplify your mindset. There will be no confusion as to why she is behaving the way she is. You will simply brush that aside and take your challenge head on. You will do it because it’s how you want to live your life and because handling things is what you do. And if you are successful in the end then good for you and if not then at least you went down swinging.
Harden Your Mind
Don’t ever expect to be able to rest on your laurels. It will serve you well to harden your mind to this fact. Once you have some momentum in turning your woman’s hypergamic nature to the betterment of the both of you, you can certainly ease off the gas a little bit. At this point though you will still need to keep an eye out and take appropriate action when necessary. But your momentum will make any needed correction much easier to accomplish.
Just as with life in general, you’ll just have to accept the reality that nothing is ever settled. If you harden your outlook you will be more prepared for the ups and downs of your relationship just as with everyday life. You can still be crazy affectionate and employ all the good natured humor you want with your woman, but in the back of your mind should be the understanding that each day stands independent of the previous one; anything can happen.
So do yourself a favor and make the gaming of your woman, maintaining frame and outcome independence a natural habit. Make it a reflex. Assume your new posture as a permanent reality. Once it becomes part of your essence it will become easy and intuitive. But to get there you will need to push through deliberately. Don’t resent her nature, accept it as a challenge and then take great pride when you eventually see the glow of satisfaction in her eyes.
Yes indeed, when you have become the tip of the spear for your woman and set the proper order for your household there will be an exciting dynamic between the two of you. It will be right with the natural order of things and you will know it. Call it a natural and healthy intoxicant if you will; a natural high.
She will look at you differently and be happy and fulfilled to be along for the ride. And you will see it. Part of the enjoyment will be that she will demonstrate her satisfaction with you unashamedly and you will get to acknowledge her admission of this explicitly. Now this is when the dynamic becomes special gentlemen.
So do yourself a favor and harden your mind to the realities of hypergamy. Leverage it to make you a better man and then turn it so that you can enjoy your woman to the fullest.
All the best,