It seems like as life progresses, you’ve more to lose and more to worry about—life tends to get increasingly serious over time. As a man you will work your ass off to achieve your goals as well as to provide for your woman and children. It takes a lot of blood, sweat and gut busting effort.
You can go for years paring away at your life and working through a lot of difficulty. And over time you can become tremendously invested in your pursuits; emotionally invested. After all, what you want to achieve is good and worthy of everything you’ve got.
It can get to the point where you wear yourself so thin and ride the edge so hard that anxiety will begin to creep into your life. It will start slowly at first and you will push back by pressing even harder. And then even more of life’s pressures will come raining down on you and once again you push back some more.
There is no giving in and there is no way you will stop. It can become a vicious cycle as you keep at it with stubborn perseverance. A healthy pride and healthy ambition will not allow you to let go. There is virtue in your pursuits so you will make it a point of principle to give it all you’ve got everyday.
And as you begin to experience more and more anxiety you simply will tough it out. This is what men do. You just handle it. You will get through it.
Except that damn vicious cycle won’t seem to let go. Anxiety is beginning to overtake your life. It has sunk its teeth into you and is biting down hard.
After a while it takes less and less pressure to take you down the damn rabbit hole. Your resistance of old is beginning to fail you. So you will find ways to cope. Some of these ways may be healthy and some of them may not.
But if you can’t get a handle on your anxiety there will be a price to pay. It will begin to break you down. Your life will begin to turn on itself. Your pursuits will become self destructive to your original goals.
It’s at this point when you need to decide enough is enough. You are no good to anybody like this.
It’s time to tell your anxiety to Keep Away; just like a toxic woman in a toxic relationship.
Call out The Enemy and tell it to Keep Away until it starts Cryin Like A Bitch:
Consider your anxiety the same as a toxic woman, no matter how attractive and seductive some of the benefits. You’ve got to decide once and for all this is no way to live. Take the same attitude that Sully and the boys have above and move on. Get angry. Let go and then push it away.
– Do like I told you, stay away from me. Never misunderstand me, keep away from me.
But then how do you really let go? How can you really get past it? You’ve conditioned yourself for years this is what you want. And you’ve invested so much at this point you can’t see yourself any other way.
Here is your 3 step answer:
If anxiety is getting the better of you because of your pursuits or life situation the first way to take back control is to be willing to start over. This does not necessarily mean you want to start over, but that you make a concrete decision you will start over if you have to.
By definition then you are willing to let go. As soon as you’re sure in your mind that if worse comes to worse you will start over, your anxiety will begin to loosen its grip. You will flip the script.
The key here is that you are willing to release that which is the cause of your stress. If you are willing to lose it all then what is there to really worry about? It might just be that simple.
Just as having a swimming pool in the back yard will allow you to enjoy the sweltering heat on a hot, stifling and muggy summer day, you will have more tolerance for the heat, pressure and stress because you know you can escape it at any time. You will be at ease because there is a way out.
Give yourself a way out by being willing to start over.
And then complement that decision by refusing to suffer.
Anxiety is emotional pain and mental anguish. At some point you’ve got to get fed up living like that. After a while it can become a bad habit and you will end up stressing about everything. It will pervade your life.
It is a common theme here at BFN that you need to put your Mission and yourself first in your life. This is not a selfish pursuit, but a righteous one to develop your God given potential to the fullest. This is how you best serve those you care about, yourself and the Creator.
In the same vein, if anxiety has become a toxic part of your life then do yourself and everyone you care about a favor by refusing to suffer from it. Simply saying those words and entering them into your consciousness will have a profound effect. Teach your mind what you want it to learn.
Tell it that you refuse to suffer.
Repeat the phrase “I refuse to suffer” whenever your anxiety begins to worm its way into your consciousness. Repeat it over and over again. And then combine it with “I will start over if I have to.”
“I refuse to suffer and I will start over if I have to.” This is how you liberate yourself.
And then liberate yourself completely by making your good character all you need; make the perfection of your character your primary goal in life.
Work at perfecting your character and you will indeed become untouchable.
If you make the perfection of your character your number one pursuit, then your other goals and life circumstances will change from desires to preferences.
If who you intrinsically are is what matters the most, it will always be easier to start over and brush anxiety aside. It will be easy to refuse to suffer. And then everything else beyond pursuing your very best can easily be reframed as a preference.
Preferences will not define who you are. They can certainly be attractive, but preferences can come and preferences can go. Desire on the other hand can become to define who you are. And desire can become toxic and eventually lead to debilitating anxiety.
Instead of allowing desire to be the fuel for your goals, use your goals as the fuel for the perfection of your character. Make your pursuits, goals and life circumstances preferences. Once again, flip the script.
When this mindset becomes your standard operating procedure each day you will indeed become untouchable.
Be willing to start over, refuse to suffer and become untouchable; liberate yourself from anxiety.
All the best,