Put yourself first and become the very best you can be. Take the immense potential you’ve been given and commit developing yourself every single day. This is gratitude in action and the path to personal greatness. There is no better way to justify your life and no better way to thank the Creator for every breath you take.
Treat yourself as you would your children or someone else you care deeply about and think about it from that point of view. There is no question you would want them to attend to the righteous pursuit of their very best. Of course you would want them to develop themselves to the best of their ability.
It is exhilarating and extremely satisfying to see your loved ones develop and succeed. And you would never consider it selfish for them to do so. There is no question, people are in the best position to help themselves and others, the stronger, the smarter, the healthier and the wealthier they are.
Why not look at yourself in the same way? As the progenitor of your children and the leader of your household, you are just as important. It is honor and responsibility that make this so. As a matter of honor, you have a debt to provide your woman and children with the very best you have to offer. And you took on that responsibility of your own volition—be a man and own up to it.
Let your woman and children see with their own eyes how much you value them by constantly working on yourself. Imagine the opposite for a moment. What is it they will see if you succumb to weakness, inertia and become soft over the years? What type of message of value will they perceive if you fail to pursue your very best? And what kind of example will you be for present and future reference?
So the answer then, is to Put Yourself First. Always have an agenda for personal excellence and pursue it with a vengeance. Do this for yourself, your family and the Creator.
It’s Never Too Late
What? So you’re a few years older and somehow it’s different for you? Your time has passed? You’ve made some mistakes and sullied your Soul so you don’t deserve to become great? You’re a lost cause? You don’t deserve personal greatness? You’re too broken? You will never be forgiven?
These are weak excuses from a man looking to avoid shouldering the load of his own potential, regardless of your “unique” circumstances. Don’t amplify your past by accepting weakness in the present. Step up and shoulder the load. Nothing will be more worthwhile in your life.
If you have lost some time or hurt yourself in some way, this is even more justification to turn the corner; even more justification to make a hard stop, put yourself first and tear after it. Your turnaround glory will be that much greater. What better way to make up for lost time or past mistakes than to commit to make the most of every day from here forward?
And the first step in doing so is to Put Yourself First. The seeds of greatness always remain within. You were born with them. The source of your origin is divine in nature. So harden yourself and begin taking proper action. Never mind looking for affirmation from anyone. Take the long view and let your actions speak for themselves.
Even if hard feelings and broken relationships remain, keep at it. Taking Right Action and pursuing Virtue can never be a bad thing. One never knows what windows and circumstances can open up in the future.
Have some faith and conduct yourself purely on principle. Overwhelm your circumstances. Success and good character are magnetic and will bend your reality in the long run.
Bare minimum, you will forgive yourself and begin to enjoy your own company. And whether it is explicitly acknowledged or not, your good example will have an effect on those you care about. Once you have entered their consciousness, it will make a difference.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you become a selfish jackass or without concern or compassion for others. And it’s not an excuse to relieve yourself of your responsibilities. To the contrary, behaving as such would be to the detriment of your character and personal development. You can do both; pursue your very best and care for your loved ones.
But you do need to put your personal growth ahead of your woman and children. The best thing you can do for them is to work consistently to develop to your full potential. Very often, I believe, men will use their responsibilities to their family as an excuse to relieve themselves of their responsibility to themselves.
It’s easier to keep busy, being busy with loved ones. Being “selfless” is an easy out. It’s very seductive to think highly of yourself as you supposedly sacrifice for others. After all, this is what we are often sold as part of the pervasive feminine narrative in Western culture. This is what “a good man” does.
But just remember this, your children will eventually grow up and leave you to the remainder of your life. You only really have them as sentient for 10 to 15 years before they essentially move on. The best thing you can do for them is to become a shining example through the pursuit of personal excellence.
Whether or not they are paying explicit attention, they will learn from your example; even after they have moved on. And as it turns out, this might just be the most important time for them to see the fruits of your endeavors.
Remember, as important as the early years are, your children will be alive as sentient adults much longer than they are as children. And in reality, this is when they will benefit the most from your example. As adults they will be able to see and understand the true nature of your character and achievements. So keep on sharpening your edge and put yourself in the strongest possible position.
You will never regret it. And one day your children will thank you for it.
Your woman might just leave you as well if you get soft and don’t continue to push the pace in your personal development. It won’t matter how faithful, loyal and hard working you’ve been over the years, a woman’s hypergamous nature can rear itself at any point. It’s never too late for her to walk out the door.
Never forget, hypergamy doesn’t care. To hypergamy, all that matters is the present circumstance; all else will be forgotten if she thinks she has better alternatives in the now. Just look around you and tell me you haven’t seen it.
Your woman is no different—AWALT—All Women Are Like That. Millions of years of evolutionary survival-of-the-fittest-hard-coded-programming will make it so. There’s a reason 70-80 percent of divorces are initiated by women—so much for the fairer sex. If your woman believes she’s got better options, she will leave you; children or no.
Despite any of your woman’s complaining about all the time and effort you put into your mental, physical and financial well being, putting yourself first will pay off. Once she sees with her own eyes the incredible will, force of character and results you’re achieving, it will rock her world.
She will become a believer. She will begin to cheer you on and sing your praises. You will put your woman on her toes and eventually she will work to please you.
And if she doesn’t, then it is you who can walk out the door. There will be many available women out there lining up for the chance at a man Becoming a Force of Nature. Be willing to do it, so you don’t have to do it.
The incredible new dynamic with your woman and the fine example you provide for your children will simply be collateral benefits to the ultimate purpose. They will be a symptom that you are indeed achieving Your Life’s Destiny—to become the very best you can be.
Craft your life. Make it a work of art as best as you can in this broken world of ours. Expect that difficulty and obstacles will never cease. This is simply the natural order for a man on the move. Make it a matter of course to handle whatever comes your way with an indomitable spirit. After a while it will become second nature.
And if you make some mistakes along the way, pick yourself up and keep moving forward. None of us are perfect and even after a life changing decision we can still stumble. The key is to get back on your feet and maintain forward momentum. Learn from your mistakes and keep paring away. The Creator is well aware of your fallibility and will appreciate the fact that you won’t quit.
Action will lead to action. And action will lead to inspiration. Doors will open up and ideas will become manifest in ways never before expected. You can become more than you ever imagined.
What higher purpose could you have in your life than to pursue Virtue, Excellence and Quality every day? What better gift could you ever give your loved ones? What better way to express gratitude to the Creator?
Do yourself, your woman and children the best favor you could ever do.
Put yourself first.
All the best,